You're Not That Special

i see myself as someone who is quite rational when making my decisions. of course, being a normal human being, there are times when my heart overpowers my brain. in situations like these, i tend to be a bit emotional, but rest assured they subside just as quickly as they appeared.

i don't always show everything i feel, it's just that a lot of times, the things i'm feeling can be seen through the expressions on my face. i don't do them on purpose, they just happen naturally - i do not always want the whole world to know what's going on inside me. it happens most often when i'm around people i really care about, and i know care about me just as much. i do not throw tantrums at people who i don't think will be there for me through thick and thin, and i most definitely do not throw tantrums at people who don't have the courtesy or even the guts to tell me the truth.

so, tell me, what makes you think you're that special? believe me, you're not.

How We Feel

do you know how i feel,
when you turned your back on me,
walked on and on,
without looking back even once?

do you know how i feel,
when i found out about the story,
crushing my heart to pieces,
without even a sign of regret?

do you know how i feel,
when the betrayal started to sink in,
nothing seems to make sense,
without anyone to help me stand again?

now i know how you feel,
when you walked away from me,
you were hiding the tears in your eyes,
for all the hurt you've caused me.

now i know how you feel,
when you told me the story,
the guilt was so overwhelming,
and you couldn't bear to be yourself.

now i know how you feel,
now i understand,
that the person hurting someone else,
hurts himself as well.

You Have Got To Be Kidding

i often hear people say that they don't judge what people do, they listen. that could be good, or even bad to a certain extent.

i don't think anyone would be able to truly not judge what other people are doing regardless of how hard a person tries. we walk down the street and say, "that girl's skirt doesn't match her top", "how could you listen to those kind of music", or even something as simple as, "you have got to be kidding." when we say all these things, of course we don't mean to criticise or think negatively, but there's a part of our conscious mind which is silently judging the other person's choice. i hear people deny it all the time, saying that they're not judging; they're just making a comment. come on, isn't that just another form of judgement? there's nothing wrong in judging, if you learn from that judgment you made, and if it were channelled in a positive way. an example would be when you're giving advice; you'd first have to listen to the story, judge the postive and negative side of it and then give relevant advice. it would be ridiculous to just give advice without putting some thought into it. that is just one example, i'm sure you could think of others once you think about it.

we make judgements everyday, consciously or unconsciously. it's just a matter of admitting that it's really not that bad, it could even be good.