when a friend comes to you with a problem in their head, what do you do? just listen and hold their hand? or do you give them advice and solutions?
before saying anything we have in mind, we'd have to first put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand what they're going through. but how are we ever going to be able to know what that person has been through? no two people were brought up the same way and they don't end up having the same values and beliefs, even if they were raised in the same family. given that they were, their personalities would still be different and that plays a part in shaping a person's views too. let's just say we have gone through the exact same thing, or even something similar, by the time the experience is needed, so much time has passed by that we don't even remember how we handled it then.
i guess the best thing a person can do is to first listen and hold their hand. instead of giving solutions, try and let that person see from both point of views - two sides of the same coin - and let them find the answer on their own. its important to get support from the people around you, but its more important to find the strength from within. coz who else knows you better than yours truly?
before saying anything we have in mind, we'd have to first put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand what they're going through. but how are we ever going to be able to know what that person has been through? no two people were brought up the same way and they don't end up having the same values and beliefs, even if they were raised in the same family. given that they were, their personalities would still be different and that plays a part in shaping a person's views too. let's just say we have gone through the exact same thing, or even something similar, by the time the experience is needed, so much time has passed by that we don't even remember how we handled it then.
i guess the best thing a person can do is to first listen and hold their hand. instead of giving solutions, try and let that person see from both point of views - two sides of the same coin - and let them find the answer on their own. its important to get support from the people around you, but its more important to find the strength from within. coz who else knows you better than yours truly?
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
-Christina Aguilera-
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
-Christina Aguilera-
5 comments:
after all these years of trials and errors of trying to be a good friend, i learnt that sometimes, they come to you for your shoulder to cry on.
and as a friend, the best thing to do at that point in time is to just listen...dont even offer any advice. and....let her know that whatever happens, whichever decision she's gona make, you will be there to catch her if she falls.
and there will be times when you'll fight your own will to make her do the right things because sometimes, you need to let your friends make mistakes for them to learn from it.
:)
dirah. i like wht u have wrote. pinjam. nak sharing. i'll give credit to ur blog ok. boleh?
and to sikurusberkasutpetak.. that is so right. as a friend, the best thing to do at that point in time is to just listen. i hate it when people start giving advice masa tgh sendu. boleh rasa nak baling kasut.
and can i quote ur word si kasut petak?
heh. i was one who'll try to come up with solutions to solve my friends probs whenever they come to me, upset. but i realized, sometimes all they needed is just for me to listen..because the things i told them, they often knew it already.
fatin, of course boleh. you can quote anything you like. tapi referencing guna oxford and not harvard, okay? hahahah.
nadia, i totally agree with you. but i always make it a point to ask them one simple question after i listen to their stories, 'do you know what you're doing?' just to make sure. =P
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